


The Weasley Family: A Masterpiece of Pranks, Drama and Arguements

by ah_oh_no_i_cant_think_of_a_username



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, LGBTQ Character, M/M, One Big Happy Family, Romance, only sometimes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-19 09:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29748444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ah_oh_no_i_cant_think_of_a_username/pseuds/ah_oh_no_i_cant_think_of_a_username
Summary: Roxanne Weasley is going into her sixth year of Hogwarts. Her family has always been a chaotic mess, but this year everything gets so much more messy. Follow Roxanne and James Sirius Potter as they try and help their family in a world still reeling from the Second Wizarding War.*It's gay eventually, I promise*
Relationships: James Sirius Potter/Original Character(s), Roxanne Weasley/Original Female Character(s), Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

The house barley held itself up. Rooms seemed to be attached by hope and hope alone, with enough add-ons to build a second house. They probably should have done that but the Burrow was much more fun like this. 

You could hear the chaos from outside, people yelling, screaming, running around and generally having a good time. The garden reflected the people, being magic-ed by Molly to be neat and tidy then being destroyed by the army of Weasley grandchildren. Nothing in the Burrow was ever neat and it was so much better like this. 

With a smile, Roxanne pushed the door open into the house and was quickly followed in by the rest of her family. Her dad and brother thrived off the energy, dropping the bags and running into the middle of everything as soon as they could. Her mum went off to say hello to the competent adults.  
What was Roxanne to do one might wonder? Roxanne was left to blend. Unless James saw her then-

“ROXIE!” whooped James when he saw her standing in the corner. He ran up to her, gave her a quick hug and then pushed her into the chaos.   
Only the cousins who were going to Hogwarts were there, the rest of them would meet everyone in Diagon Alley for a quick family reunion before going back to their normal adult lives. 

Hugo and Lily were either running around mischievously or out of sight, no doubt planning a classic back-to-school prank. Last year, they managed to hide garden gnomes into everyone's bag so when they got to Diagon Alley, they went everywhere.  
Lily was the innocent looking but evil genius behind most pranks, Hugo just loved fun which tended to follow her around so they made a perfect duo.

Albus was probably off moping somewhere, avoiding Rose at all costs. For people who were raised like siblings, they didn't like each other very much. Every conversation they had somehow turned into an argument no matter how basic or agreeable the topic was.  
Fred would just follow Dad around like a puppy dog, technically he should have been her duo partner since they were twins, but he much preferred Georges company to hers.   
This left James Potter, possibly the most chaotic of them all. 

If James wasn't bothering her, pranking with Lily and Hugo, trying to get Albus and Rose to duel or getting chased around by another family member you would be worried he was dead.  
Not once in her life had Roxanne ever seen him acting any less hyper than a squirrel after six shots of espresso. He had decided that Roxanne was his duo partner, and therefore forced her to socialize and be his friend. It was hard to stay annoyed at James though, no matter how irritating he was, being mean to him felt like kicking a puppy. 

Roxanne smiled begrudgingly as she was absorbed by her family. Sure it took a bit of time to adjust to the noise level but once you did, they would never let you feel bored or unwanted.  
After an hour Roxanne was already a key component in three current pranks, had to mediate an argument while James kept suggesting a good old fashioned fist fight and had dodged about six traps laid by five different people. Rose had promised to show her the best hidden shelf in Florence and Blott and Albus had ranted to her about being alone “all summer” without his dearest friend Scorpius. 

Worn out and avoiding another conversation on Quidditch with James, Roxanne retired to the kitchen. Hermione and Harry were debating on funding for Hogwarts again.  
No matter how much Hermione funnelled to the school Harry insisted that books needed updating or that house elves needed a raise.   
Hermione was the Minister of Magic, essentially the president of the English wizarding world and she, to quote Uncle Ron, was “bloody brilliant” at it.   
Harry on the other hand was the Defense against the Dark Arts teacher and had finally taught the students a proper curriculum instead of a patchwork of nightmares.

“Hello dear” said Molly, coming out from a mysterious room only the adults were allowed to go in, to kiss Roxanne's forehead and stoop her into a hug. Harry and Hermione took a brief break from arguing to greet her.

“What's up with da kids these days?” asked Harry completely seriously “ Hopefully it is very swag and cash-money”. He was trying to update his slang to understand the kids at Hogwarts more, but was failing miserably and hilariously.

Roxanne snorted “ It’s going so cash-money”. Harry nodded at her, his slang had been approved by the youth.

“How’s life?” asked Hermione. “Need any extra money for Diagon Alley, for stuff you don't want your mum to know about” she winked.   
Roxanne had gotten in huge trouble in first year for trying to make a Weasley Wheezes: Love Potion in the family lab and Hermione never let her live it down.

Thankfully Harry had muttered something about how Hermione should use that money for Hogwarts and not pranks, reigniting the argument. It wasn't hard to see where Albus and Rose got their debate skills from.

Roxanne grabbed a spare butterbeer off the kitchen table and made her way to the back garden. 

Funnily enough, James had started an argument about Quidditch between Ginny, Ron and her mum. There was always a weird tension between Ginny and mum since they were on opposite teams in the World Cup and Ginny's team, the Holy Headed Harpies, had beaten mum's team, Puddlemere United.   
All it took was one strike of a match to cause a house fire with them. 

Roxanne took a seat on the porch beside Uncle Ron and her dad, who was obviously followed by Fred, listening to every word they said like it was procephy.  
Uncle Ron asked how she was and she said fine, as you do when you don't want to tell a middle aged man about your entire life and your utter dread of going back to school.  
She just sat back against the wall behind her and let the sun of late August wash over her as the conversation flowed around her.  
She decided that if there had to be a moment she could stay in for just a little longer, it would be this moment. So she sat with a smile on her face and enjoyed the moment.


	2. Chapter 2

Roxanne was dragged up from her peaceful sunbathe far too soon. Apparently the argument between mum and Ginny had gotten too “serious” as James had said, involving a near fist-fight and a boiling over that had taken years to happen. Annoyed that she missed the fight of the generation, Roxanne tried to wake up enough for the second part of the day: Diagon Alley, the most draining day of the year.

Molly and Arthur, or Arty as everyone called him, had gotten the Floo Network disconnected after the war. Seven kids and their spouses dropping in at any time tends to ruin a retirement as Arty had said. So everyone piled into the R.V that Arty had bought years after Uncle Ron and Harry had totalled the car. You’d think it would be more roomy than the car, but with the ever-expanding Weasley family it was always stuffed.

After a final bag check for money, phones and pranks that were waiting to jump out, the Weasleys piled in. Thankfully a spell had expanded the inside, creating just enough room for everyone to sit if the smaller kids sat on peoples laps. While Lily fidgeted on her lap and complained how she was a second year and too old for this, Roxanne looked out the window at London.

Even though half her family were muggleborns, they never went to proper London.   
It was a weird effect from the war apparently, almost all the muggle borns and half-bloods preferred not to talk about the muggle world after being hunted so ruthlessly by Voldemort. 

In the same line of thought as the war, the wizarding war had never really recovered from it. The Sacred 28 had dwindled to sixteen after the war. The anti-muggle thing never truly wore off, there was always just a little judgment for no reason. It made Roxanne sad going to Diagon Alley because of this, all the little muggle-born kids running around admiring everything and anything, not seeing the people side-eyeing them.

After a long and bumpy trip, they finally arrived. Everyone filed out of the R.V while regaining the feeling of their legs.   
Immediately there was chaos as Molly, Hermione and Harry tried to herd everyone in different directions. Lily and Hugo seemed to be muttering about something while Albus and Rose bickered yet again.

Ron and Dad, and of course Fred, went to the Weasley Wizard Wheezes shop. James was frantically looking around for the Olders, the oldest cousins who had moved on to better, more organised life-styles. Among this section was James’s very own idol, Teddy Lupin.

Teddy deserved his own world to be honest. He had his mothers gift of metamorphmagus, his fathers face (when he chose) and a Mauraders worthy lifestyle of what appeared to be muggle clubs, alcohol and doing everything and anything he felt like. He was absolutely amazing in every way.  
When he went to Hogwarts, he had single handedly pulled off the most successful pranks in the history of the school. He had taught everything he knew to the Youngers. Lily and Hugo seemed to be trying to beat his record, and everytime they saw him had numerous plans to ambush him which he always managed to avoid somehow. 

Interrupting her line of thought, Victoire and Dominique turned the corner and hurried up to everyone doing the usual and dull intros to everyone.   
After asking Molly how she was and telling the cousins how big they’d grown and how school was after six whole years of them not being there.

“So” smiled Arty “Where’s the rest of the gang?”

Victore shrugged lightly “ You know how Louis is, either exactly beside where he said he’d be or on a different continent” Probably at M’s pub then.   
Percy’s oldest child had taken after the twins and dropped out in their last year of Hogwarts to start a business. That was of course after causing the most trouble for the Sacred 16 as possible and annoying everyone with their endless twists, turns and tricks.

The pub was crowded and business was booming. As per usual, Percy was sat up in one of the large booths. Learning from his parents' mistakes, Percy fully supported M’s dreams and would always tell them how proud he was of them. Audrey, his ex-wife, was never as free and liberal with love like that. The final straw for Percy was when M came out as nonbinary and he found her on a page for wizard conversion therapy.

“Hello lads” he smiled. He was trying to learn more slang to fit in at the pub. He and Harry always ended up in a deep discussion about how confusing all the new lingo was.“What even is a YOLO?” he had muttered “ Back in our day it was a warning, not a dare”.

The Weasley clan filled the pub, taking up three out of the seven booths.  
In the first were the adults (aka the parents and grandparents), in the second were the Elders and in the third were the youngers. 

The tricky thing about James and Roxanne was where they went. Louis was technically the same age as them but he seemed so much older. He had left for a specialized school in Romania to train you for animal work when he was fifteen. After two years there he could out drink anybody and school you on different species while drunker than the entire UK population on New Years Eve. He would obviously sit with the Elders.

Albus, Rose, Lily and Hugo were the Youngers, the babies of the family until someone had more children. Even though they had the least people at their table, they were still the loudest. Albus and Rose had somehow gotten into another argument, so today Roxanne and James sat at the Elders table to avoid the bickering.

Dominique and Louis were arguing in French, but quiet so it was fine. James was still obviously looking around for Teddy, so Roxanne was left to talk to Victore.  
Victore was strange for a witch. She had chosen to make her living in modelling and hosting T.V talk shows. This was strange because she had spent her entire school career hiding from her uncle and aunt's fame. 

The Elders got harassed a lot by paparazzi, they were related to so many key war heroes, who wouldn't have died for an interview on their lives?  
The press always hoped they would do something entertaining enough to make the headlines. It happened a couple of times, but mostly they avoided the limelight.

“How is Professor Longbottom?” asked Victore “He was always my favourite teacher, does he still knit those jumpers for his plants?” 

Roxanne smiled “ Of course he does, he seems very happy. He’s a great teacher but I still can't stand the aggressive plants no matter how many fun lessons he does on them.”  
James jumped up from the table, announcing Teddy Lupin's arrival. Teddy was like a brother or cousin to everyone. Not even the tabloids dares to print a rumour about him and one of the Weasley girls, it would’ve been like incest.

With his iconic cheeky smile that would’ve made Sirius proud, he looked around at everyone “ Still not a party till I’m here?”

“Of course!” boomed M loudly, appearing from out of nowhere. “ How’s life Ted?”

M took a break from bartending after half the pub left because of either the school-supply rush or the noise from the Weasleys.   
With M and Teddy, the Elders were complete. The conversation rushed on, beginning to get entertaining and fun,like anything to do with Teddy was.

The adults table was getting progressively louder as Hermione, Percy and Harry debated about funding yet again and another argument had broken out between Angelina and Ginny with Ron coming back from the W.W.W and watching, interjecting occasionally to back up a point. 

Hugo and Lily had disappeared to bombard some people on the streets with tricks or help George at the shop. Albus had snuck off to find Scorpius and Rose had followed him thinking nobody would notice. 

“Did you know” said Dominique interrupting Roxanne's line of thought “That Louis is going to Hogwarts this year?”

“Really?!” said Roxanne “ I thought we’d never get you back from Romania.”

Louis shrugged “Mum and Dad think that it's too dangerous since I came back this summer with this.” He pulled his sleeve up revealing a massive burn scar all over his forearm. 

“Bloody hell!” exclaimed James “ That’s sick bro”. Louis smiled, no matter how hard he tried to look strong and mysterious, his dimpled smile with big cheeks gave him away.   
“ Thank God, imagine if I spent two weeks with my arm half melted for it to be a lame scar” he said cheerfully. James' eyes widened in amazement “ Two whole weeks?! What do they live in the stone ages!”

While Louis began to show James all his scars, Roxanne tuned into the other side of the table conversation. 

“I’m just saying” huffed Dominique “ If you’re going to disappear of into the muggle world for five months, just give me your phone number so I know you're not dead”  
Teddy looked appalled at the idea. “ That takes all the fun out of going off the grid!” he retorted. He didn't really mean it though, his eyes sparkled with glee as he playfully argued with the girls. 

“I must catch up on your T.V appearances though Vicky” he smiled to the eldest of the elders.

M snorted “ You haven't been missing much, Dad’s been making me switch the channel for the pub when your shows come on.” Victore rolled her eyes.   
“Mind you” said M, thinking out loud “ The old men never seem to mind”

Everyone laughed heartily as Victore pulled a face of disgust. It was good to be talking again.


End file.
